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| The Big Lebowski Quotes |
They figured he was a lazy time wasting slacker. They were right.
Her life was in their hands. Now her toe is in the mail.
Times like these call for a Big Lebowski.
It takes guys as simple as the Dude and Walter to make a story this complicated... and they'd really rather be bowling.
Lebowski: Not a man, a way of life
Quotes from The Big Lebowski (1998) movie:
Walter Sobchak: Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!
Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
Walter Sobchak: When we make the handoff, I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him! Huh?
The Dude: That's a great plan, Walter. That's fuckin' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch.
Sherry in 'Logjammin': [on video] You must be here to fix the cable.
Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fuckin johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?
The Dude: God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the F*CK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the f*ck are you talking about?
The Dude: These are, uh...
Brandt: Oh, those are Mr Lebowski's children, so to speak.
The Dude: Different mothers, huh?
Brandt: No.
The Dude: Racially he's pretty cool?
Brandt: [laughs] They're not literally his children. They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers - inner city children of promise but without the necessary means for a - necessary means for a higher education. So Mr Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college.
Blond Treehorn Thug: What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Huh?
The Dude: Uh... I don't know, Sir.
The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.
The Dude: And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak: You mean... beyond pacifism?
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Jesus Quintana: What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the f*cks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have f*cked you in the ass Saturday. I f*ck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!
Walter Sobchak: F*cking dipshit with a nine toed woman.
Jesus Quintana: Nobody f*cks with the Jesus!
The Dude: Mind if I do a J?
Walter Sobchak: Your wheel! At fifteen m-p-h I roll out! I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him! The uzi!
The Dude: Uzi?
Walter Sobchak: You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked!
The Dude: Jesus, man, could you change the channel?
Cab Driver: F*ck you man. If you don't like my f*ckin' music get your own f*ckin' cab!
The Dude: I had a rough...
Cab Driver: I pull over and kick your ass out!
The Dude: Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the f*ckin' Eagles, man!
Tony the Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: F*ckin' A, man. I got a rash, man.
The Dude: Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man.
Blond Treehorn Thug: Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny.
The Dude: My... my wi-, my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm f*cking married? The toilet seat's up, man!
Walter Sobchak: F*cking Germans. Nothing changes. F*cking Nazis.
Donny: They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?
The Dude: Did you ever hear of "The Seattle Seven"?
Maude Lebowski: Mmm.
The Dude: That was me... and six other guys.
Walter Sobchak: He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger...
The Dude: The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose.
Walter Sobchak: Near the In-and-Out Burger...
Donny: Those are good burgers, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the f*ck up, Donny.
Walter Sobchak: Those rich f*cks! This whole f*cking thing... I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this f*cking strumpet...
The Dude: I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude: Walter, face it, there isn't any connection.
The Stranger: There's just one thing, Dude.
The Dude: And what's that?
The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
The Dude: What the f*ck you talking about?
The Stranger: Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
The Dude: This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head. Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.
Jackie Treehorn: Interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic!
The Dude: Yeah well, I still jerk off manually.
Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?
Maude Lebowski: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: 'Scuse me?
Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean coitus?
Maude Lebowski: Uli Kunkol? Her co-star in the beaver picture?
The Dude: Beaver? Uhhhh, you mean vagina...? I mean, you know the guy?
Maude Lebowski: Oh, I might have introduced them for all I know.
[looks at Knox]
Maude Lebowski: You remember Uli?
Knox Harrington: Mmmmm.
Walter Sobchak: Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
The Dude: I'm sorry your stepmother is a nympho.
The Dude: Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.
The Big Lebowski: Start talking and talk fast you lousy bum.
Brandt: We've been frantically trying to reach you, Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Where is my goddamn money you bum?
The Dude: Just take it easy man.
Walter Sobchak: I'm perfectly calm Dude.
The Dude: [shouting] Yeah, waving the f*cking gun around?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Will you just take it easy?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug.
Maude Lebowski: My father's weakness is vanity, hence the slut.
The Stranger: Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, well, he eats you.
The Dude: At least I'm housebroken.
The Stranger: Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night.
The Dude: Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
Walter Sobchak: I don't roll on Shabbos!
The Dude: The Dude abides.
The Dude: That rug really tied the room together.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny!
Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
The Dude: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not 'Mr. Lebowski'. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Walter Sobchak: Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong?
The Dude: Oh, nice marmot.
Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
The Dude: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8.
Walter Sobchak: Eight year olds, Dude.
Donny: Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
The Dude: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!
Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up Donny!
Walter Sobchak: Forget about the fucking toe!
Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your c*** for a thousand dollars.
The Dude: Let me just find a cash machine.
The Dude: I'm not Mr. Lebowski, you're Mr. Lebowski. I am The Dude, so that's what you call me, you know? That or, uh, Duder or His Dudeness or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
The Dude: You brought a Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak: I did not bring it bowling. I'm not renting it shoes, I'm not buying it a fucking beer, dude.
Walter Sobchak: I don't roll on Shabbos.
Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These f*cking amateurs...
Nihilist: Vee vill cut off your johnson Lebowski.
Walter Sobchak: I myself dabbled in pacifism once, that was before 'Nam of course.
The Dude: Nice marmont.
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: That rug really tied the room together.
Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
The Dude: The royal we...
The Big Lebowski: I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea.
The Stranger: The dude abides...
Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! F*ck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
The Dude: Look, just stay away from my f*cking lady friend.
Da Fino: Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.
The Dude: She's not my special lady, she's my f*cking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man!
The Big Lebowski: They did not receive the money, you nitwit! They did not receive the money! Her life was in your hands!
Brandt: This is our concern, Dude.
Donny: Over the line!
The Dude: That rug really tied the room together.
The Dude: Wait... let me just explain something to you. I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm "The Dude". So that's what you call me, you know. That, or His Dudeness, or Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
Jackie Treehorn: People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
The Dude: On you maybe.
Maude Lebowski: The story is ludicrous.
Walter Sobchak: The little prick is stonewalling me.
Cast
Jeff Bridges (Jeffrey Lebowski, The Dude), John Goodman (Walter Sobchak), Julianne Moore (Maude Lebowski), Steve Buscemi (Theodore Donald 'Donny' Kerabatsos), David Huddleston (Jeffrey Lebowski - The Big Lebowski), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Brandt), Tara Reid (Bunny Lebowski)
Trailer
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