Crazy, Stupid, Love Quotes

Story: At forty something, straight-laced Cal Weaver is living the dream-good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. Worse, in today's single world, Cal, who hasn't dated in decades, stands out as the epitome of un-smooth. Now spending his free evenings sulking alone at a local bar, the hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and prot�g� to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer.

Quotes from Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) movie

Emily Weaver: You know when I told you when I had to work late? I really went to go see the new twilight movie by myself, and it was so bad.

Bernie: Hey the ladies man guy. Got any tips of the trade?

Jacob: "The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise."

Emily: I slept with someone. You met him, at the Christmas party?
Cal: "Please stop." (Emily keeps talking) "If you keep talking I'm gonna get out of the car..."
Emily: (more talking) "...I think the fact that I did it, it just shows how broken we are..."
Cal: "Okay..." (Takes off seatbelt and jumps/falls out of the car)
Emily: "Cal!!"

Emily: "I'm trying to think about what I want..." (looks at restaurant menu)
Cal: "Why don't we just say it at the same time? One, two three..."
Emily: "I want a divorce."
Cal: (simultaneously) "Creme brulee..."

Cal: "Who told you that Emily and I are getting divorced?"
Cal's Boss: "Amy heard you crying in the bathroom - we all thought it was cancer."
Cal: "Oh...."
Cal's Boss: "Thank God, man..." (laughing)
Cal: (laughs) "Yeah, just my relationship..."

Hannah: "Take of your shirt!"
Jacob: "Why?"
Hannah: "Will you take off your shirt?"
(Jacob removes his shirt)
Hannah: "Seriously!? It's like you're photoshopped!"

Cal: "God can you put on some clothes please?"
Jacob: "Oh, I'm sorry is this bothering you?"
Cal: "No, it's not!"
Jacob: "Cal, if it's not bothering you then we've got a bigger problem."

Cal: "I'm so mad at you. I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of that car - I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates."
Emily: "I miss you."

Kate: "What do you want to do with me?!"
Cal: "I want to show you off to my ex-wife and make her really jealous!"

Cast
Cal Weaver (Steve Carell), Emily Weaver (Julianne Moore), Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling), Marisa Tomei (Kate), Beth Littleford (Claire), Emma Stone (Hannah), Jonah Bobo (Robbie), John Carroll Lynch (Bernie).

Trailer