Quotes from 30 Minutes or Less (2011) movie
Nick: Guess what, you just brought a gun to a bomb fight officer!
Nick: Actually, I was having the best night of my life with your sister.
Chet: [Singing] Painting our guns, painting our guns, painting our guns, for the bank robbery...cuz we're goin with our plastic guns and the cops will shoot us in our face.
Dwayne: Sometimes fate pulls out its big ol' cock and slaps you right in face.
Dwayne: I liked the bear, I don't even f*cking know you.
Dwayne: Don't make a big deal out of it, alright?
Chet: "Why are we talking about my sister?"
Nick: "I don't know."
Chet: "You want to have sex with my sister don't you?"
Nick: "Okay, your sister is attractive."
Chet: "My twin sister?! Which is basically like having sex with me?"
Nick: "Remember graduation night?"
Chet: "When you were nailing Tina Scotto?"
Nick: "No, I was actually having the best night of my life with your sister..."
Chet: "What?! You deflowered my sister?! And I know all the details?!"
Nick: "Two guys in masks strapped a bomb to my chest and now I have less than nine hours to rob a bank!"
Chet: "And your first thought was to come to a school filled with young children?!"
Clerk: "Guns, masks - you sure you all don't want to grab some condoms?"
Nick: "No, why?"
Clerk: "Because this is usually what men buy before they rape someone."
Chet: "Oh, we're not rapists. Us two? Small fries? No way."
Clerk: "This gonna be cash or credit for your rape kit?"
Nick: "Take your gun out and toss it!"
Female bank customer: "Oh, I don't want this gun!" (slides the gun across the bank floor, it goes off and shoots a man)
Female bank customer: "Sorry, it was an accident!"
Shot man: "Who slides a gun like that?!?!?"
Dwayne: "Pay attention to the cuddly bear there on the barrel. Ring ring! Hello bear how's it going? What do you mean you couldn't rob the bank? It was too hard? Well, that's a shame my stuffed buddy - because time is up."
(Blows up bear, turns to Nick)
Dwayne: "I liked that bear. I don't even know you."
Dwayne: "Remember when me and you worshiped the devil for like, two weeks?"
Travis: "That was the best two weeks of my life."
Nick: "I need your help okay, I can't do this alone."
Chet: "If I let you go and you explode, it'll come back and eat at my conscious. It'll affect my relationships with other people, like my future wife and kids. We'd be having a picnic one day and I'll just be like, Dammit, I shouldn't have let Nick explode that time..."
Chet: "Hey, what the hell? You just been just sitting here watching the whole time?"
Nick: "I caught the whole show. Really classy move at the end by the way, putting your tongue in her mouth right after you f***ed it?"
Chet: "Woman is kind enough to provide me with fellatio services, I'm not just gonna dart out of there, I'm a gentlemen."
Nick: "Have a beer. The alcohol should wash the taste of yourself out of your mouth."
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| 30 Minutes or Less Quotes |
Jesse Eisenberg (Nick), Aziz Ansari (Chet), Michael Pe?a (Chango), Danny McBride (Dwayne), Nick Swardson (Travis), Fred Ward (The Major)
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